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Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Who is a man.

Who is a man? 

This is a question I have asked myself times with no end, for days I have sat and pondered this mystery. How then does one qualify to be called a man?
Is it a standard to rally to, Is there a criteria that measures the mettle of boys and as a result elevates them to the status of man hood.

For so long we have been led to believe that a man is an adult human male, but I digress. Surely age alone is not enough to earn one this most noble of tittles. Surely not muscle or height, not even wealth or achievement.

A dilemma I say, what then could it be, how best can we evaluate and measure a man.
Should it be by the breadth of one's chest? Should it be evidenced by the appearance of pubic hair? Should we perhaps measure a man, by the size of his genitals? On a light note, If that is the case, then I qualify. Should we perchance, measure a man by the number of ladies one has intercourse with? All the above perhaps are a part of manhood, essentially they are important. But I for one, is of the opinion that they alone, do not, should not, qualify a person to be a Man. The name, man surely embodies more than that.

Therefore, I question again. Who then is a man? I thought deep and pondered long, and because at the end of the day, we can lie to all but ourselves. I realized the following.

A man mustn’t be an adult male, or a person of legal age. Manhood surely should be measured by one's determination to do the best they can with what they have. It should be measured by one’s courage and ability to rise above discrimination, to rise above circumstances. And in the end, rise back from setbacks. Manhood should be measured by one's ability to handle rejection and heartbreak. It should be measured by the goodness of one's heart. Loving self, and loving others.

It should be measured by one's honesty. A person’s ability to face the consequences of his choices and his actions. Manhood should be one's humility, the ability to accept correction.
To know that one cannot always be right. To be able to listen to others.
Being a man is a life style.

So look deep within yourself. And ask. Are you worthy?
Are you a man? Or are you just pretending to be one.

Does your name, define or confine you.

The world is full of double standards, do yourself a favor, be true to yourself

A rose by any other name, would smell just as sweet, we all know this.
So what’s in a name, a sense of identity? Some supposed ideal suggesting purpose and belonging? I fail to understand why so much importance is attached
on names. Names are just that, names.

Personally, I’d like to think that Dennis does not encompass fully the individual I am. Indeed, I would go ahead and categorically state that Dennis is not me. Perhaps, right now, you are thinking that Dennis Ohuru has lost it, perhaps you are thinking, what the hell he is talking about denying who he is. Indulge me, allow me to expound, I say Dennis is not me for the following reasons.
Dennis is not an explanation, neither is it a definition, Dennis is just, what they mention to get my attention. The name in itself doesn’t elaborate my deepest desires, nor does it reveal the passion and ambition that is fundamental to the person I am. My name doesn’t in any way showcase my abilities and talents, nor does it instantly grant knowledge of the inner workings of my brain to third parties upon introduction.

In the end, it falls upon you, yes you, to define yourself, never letting anyone tell you who you are, but rather, telling them who you are. Live however you want to live, love whoever you want to love, be whoever you want to be, not because that’s what you have to be, or because you are expected to be that, but because you owe it to yourself to be who you want to be.

And now you, like me, are in the know, your name is not you, if and ever you doubt it, refer back to this article

The rest of your life, can be the best of your life

I have been alive long enough to know that life is all about making memories.
A phenomena that science and human ingenuity in all their unrivaled brilliance have failed to solve is aging, its simple, we are born, we grow, we grow, we grow still, we grow old, then we die. That’s just how life is.

I absolutely have no problem with that, death scares the shit out of me like every one else, I don’t have to like it, but I accept it. Because the secret to happiness is accepting what you can’t change, when you do, you become so much happier.

And so I have always known and accepted the fact that, one Wednesday, I will die. Yet right now, in this moment, I am alive, and it falls to me to create the best memories I can, so that when my day comes, I am not filled with regrets of what could have been.

My word, to anyone that will listen, is , eat what you want to eat, wear what you want to wear, love whoever you want to love, fuck whoever you want to fuck, be the person you want to be when you want to be. Because in the end, It is all about YOU. Your life is yours to live.

So live it on the edge, turn a new page each and every day, get out of the societal cage, and pledge, to not only exist, but to live, for life is for living and not living up tight.
The rest of your life, still has the potential to be, the best of your life.

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Humanity, aware or inanimate

Humanity, aware or inanimate
“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”

Have you asked yourself this question, what is our purpose of existence, what is our position in the scheme of things. Is there a reason behind our existence, or are just pawns in some great galactic game. To be born, live miserably short lives, most of it spent in unfruitful pursuit of happiness, then die and be forgotten.

Have you, like me, ever wondered, if indeed human beings are sentient, are we really awake and aware, or are we programmed beings, placed and destined to lord over the less intelligent animals, cursed with the urge for self actualization, a figment of our imagination. This i say, because, the most common human trait the world over is conformity, wanting to fit it.

Humanity at its most basic and fundamental state is flawed, the society segmented into classes according to wealth and possession, the richest being the upper class, the poorest the lower class. Every one is born and fit in, according to circumstances which at the very least, is none of their fault. Growing up, every one is made to do things in a way that is NORMAL and ACCEPTED by society. “Go to school.” why? because every one goes to school, it is expected. ” Dress this way and not that way.” Because that is how PEOPLE dress.

Nobody questions these things, but maybe its time we did, maybe its time for questions. Maybe its time to challenge the status quo.

I choose long ago, never to conform and always to question the existing state of affairs. Conformity is the death of progress. Do not look to fit it, but instead, aim to stand out. Then maybe, just maybe, we will be more than we are. We can be better.
My closing statement is this, we should always aim to improve, until our good is better, and our better is best.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Breaking up, When love turns sour.

Two people that were in love once, cannot be friends- they hurt each other.
They cannot be enemies, they once loved each other.
Instead they become the most familiar strangers.

Breaking up hurts, more so if the victim is you.
Being left makes you ask yourself loads of questions, the things you did that you could have done differently,
the things you said that you wish you hadn't said,
the moments shared that you will miss.
And last but not least, when and how you will move on.
And so, breaking up is and will always remain love's bad side.

We are obsessed with happy endings.
No doubt you've watched movies that end happily,
read books that showcase happy endings,
in the end it is by no fault of our own, integrated into our system that love is magical, and like all the books and movies say, never ending.
And then, even though we know better, we place our hands in the fire and think we will not get burnt.

Alas, happy endings belong in holly wood movies and fiction novels,
Reality is way, way different.
The first weeks, and months of love are magical...
The other person angelic...
Then, all over sudden,
the text messages intermittently decrease,
the calls are replaced by voice mails,
the immediate message replies turn to replies in days, not minutes.
Love goes sour, and breaking up seems the only solution.

WE ARE CURSED, because love is here to stay, and so are break ups.
Cinderella, beauty and the beast, Rapunzel and Sleeping beauty will forever remain, just fairy tales...

There are no princesses and prince charming s in the real world.
Only bad decisions, falling in love, make ups and break ups.

its your boy Ohuru.

Friday, 4 March 2016

Communication tips for managers

As a manager, there are four core competencies I need to possess to be an effective communicator – insight; feedback/coaching skills; listening skills; and, of course, communicating. Here’s why these competencies are critical:

I need insight for planning performance goals and linking them to company priorities.

Feedback and coaching
I need Feedback and coaching skills to pinpoint improvement opportunities and to help employees prepare for future assignments.

Listening skills
I need listening skills to draw information out of people and to probe the root causes of problems.
I need to possess communication skills, both oral written – to shape employee beliefs and attitudes.

Creating a communication plan involves thinking through the message I wish to convey, understanding my target audience and determining the best way to deliver my message.
The following template and change model demonstrates the kind of planning guidance that I include in my manager’s communication toolkit. (The level of sophistication of the planning process could vary depending on the complexity of the communication initiative and the seniority of managers and leaders involved)

DENNIS ohuru

DENNIS ohuru