uNTangLing MyseLF

What is the purpose of existence, what is our position in the scheme of things?  Is there a reason behind our existence, or are just pawns in some great galactic game. To be born, live miserably short lives, most of it spent in an unfruitful pursuit of happiness, then die and be forgotten. Have you, like me, ever wondered, if indeed human beings are sentient, are we really awake and aware, or are we programmed, destined to lord over the less intelligent animals, cursed with an urge for self-actualization, a figment of our imagination.  Humanity at its most basic and fundamental state is flawed, the society is segmented into classes according to wealth. Everyone is born and bound to circumstances, not of their making.  And as they grow, they are made to do things in a way that is NORMAL and ACCEPTED by society.  “Go to school.”  "Why?"  "Because everyone goes to school." "Dress this way and not that way.”  "Why?" "That is how PEOPLE dress." ...

I had a wristband, a beautiful thing, of many colours, given me by a past love. Diana was her name. She said never to take it off because as long as I had it on, she would always be in my heart. She is in my heart still, so I guess it's true. The colours are symbolic, she said. The colours are the definition of every moment we've gone through, Red, yellow, green and white. Yellow Is for the happy times,  The laughter we shared... The moments we fell in love over and over again... White Is for the tranquil and calm times. The times we didn't need words to communicate... The times we saw each other in each other's eyes... The times we held hands... The times we just smiled at each other. Green The hard times... The times that memories of better times kept us going... The times we felt like giving up on each other... Red The romantic times... Her skin was so touchable. Her lips were so kissable. The caresses, no reason, no explanation, no why, no how, just now.

The details of Yester evening remain solidly plastered on my cerebellum…  My eyes were idly roving my surroundings, that’s until they fell on her… And yes, I fell in love. Not only with her face, her face, the definition of beauty. And not only with her grace, her slow, booty rolling, hip-swinging gait. But also with her legs, especially her legs, Mon Dieu!!! She had holy legs. Holy because the English language doesn’t have a better word, and even if it has, there is just no better way to word it. This lady had a way of stretching those beautiful, long, sexy, never-ending walking apparatus to a beat in my mind that suggested illegal things. The way my fingers could steal their way up those goddess's legs, draw minute patterns up on those fleshy thighs, damn! What the fuck am I saying! Back to the story, before my optical telescopes could get accustomed to Miss leggy leggy, she went around a corner and was forever lost to me. But I will remember those legs...

All my life, rarely if ever, have I beheld a fille with attractions so calculated to bewitch a garcon. I would, if I could, make you mine. Your sweet face. Crowning the body of a  Venus . I could only gaze at creations  genius . I do not know if what words I write make sense, They could be nonsense…I do not care. All I know is you are the definition of beauty… You with your splendid eyes and charming smile. I could traverse many miles, navigate many a Nile. If I knew that smile and its owner awaited me at my journey's end.   I still cannot make up my mind whether am glad or sad that fate should have thrown you in my path. A few hours then you were gone, but I will remember you, Naomi. You are to me, and will always be. La belle Anunda.

What is a hallucination?… The most probable answer is a hallucination is a fantasy. The mind’s visual presentation of an event or object that is not at that moment existing. We can even argue that hallucinations are the exact opposite of reality. Made me ask myself. What then is reality? The answer that came to my mind almost immediately was, reality is life as we see and know it. Reality has in itself a component of that which is witnessed; That which is real. But, hypothetically speaking, what if, we in general are hallucinating reality: What if reality is imagined. What if we perceive reality the way our minds want us to, and not the way it is. I mean, a mad man doesn’t for one second think he is mad; Furthermore, we are all born and inducted into a pre-conceived society with pre-existing notions and expectations. What if it is all a ruse..a cover to something much bigger than ourselves… I read once that, and I quote. “If we give up what we are, we become what we can be.”